Ted & Ralph

Paul Whitehouse

Ted / Rowley Birkin / Kevin Brown

Charlie Higson

Ralph Mayhew / Aunt Cecilia / Ralph's Father

Kathy Burke

Mrs. Ted

Simon Day

Tall Tom / Cliff Carter / Friend of Dorothy

Paul Bigley

Short Tom

Arabella Weir

Mrs. Jenkins / Ralph's Mother / Henrietta Gladstone

Mark Williams

Confirmed Bachelor

Louise Brill

Lulu

Eryl Maynard

Miss Paxman

Simon Roberts

Cousin Jack

Miranda Richardson

Henrietta Blough-Pendleton

Gina Bellman

Henrietta Spain

Catherine Newell

Arm Wrestling Woman

Fiona Allen

Dog Barking Woman